SUCCESS LIFE: Jonah Nyoni

Does money control love? Or love has to control money? Money, marriage and sex are topical issues, that if not well managed they ruin marriage. I (JN) sought one expert on marriage, Pride Sibya (PS) who is going to help on how to manage money in a love situation.

JN: When a boy and a girl are dating they want to show their best, but end up living a lie. When marriage strikes, the truth is revealed. Are there dangers of wanting to flaunt money before marriage as a way of impressing?

PS: Eighteen(18) years ago I proposed love to my wife who I’m married to. I told her that I am nothing but a young, poor ghetto boy who had absolutely nothing of my own. This was because I was afraid of the consequences associated with discovering who your partner really is later on. Jonah, the greatest danger is failing to buy back trust once you lose it. Marriage is based on, or at least, should be based on love. Love is not just a feeling, it is a decision, and that decision comes because of trust. When you lose the trust of your partner you lose all other hinges you have built in that marriage relationship. Be transparent, Genesis 2:25 tells us that Adam and Eve were naked and not ashamed…yes nakedness is transparency yet not ashamed.

JN: Money carries an emotion. How do we maintain love, romance and sex in the absence of money?

PS: Yes it’s true, money carries an emotion. I want our people to know that money is not everything in life, in general, and in marriage in particular. That is very important. Equally important is that, though it is not everything it is very important. Couples need to be taught how to bring in financial income and moreso how to manage the resources that God gives them. However, we also need to know that we cannot wait for money to come to us so that we may experience love, romance and even have meaningful sex in a marriage. Joy comes from within, it is not happiness, a couple must decide early in life that they will maintain that marital joy regardless of their financial status. Romance, love and sex flourish even in financial dire-straits.

JN: Couples fight because of money mismanagement. Give tips on how to manage money in marriage?
PS: Firstly, there is need for the transparency that I alluded to before. That is extremely important, next is to budget. Budgeting is very boring but will save us a lot of trouble caused by financial mismanagement. On the budget should items be prioritised according to the order of pre-eminence and importance. My wife and I start with tithes and offerings, followed by rents and rates, foodstuffs, school fees, transport, medicals, relatives, accounts and contingent expenses. That budget accounts for 60-70% of the income, while 30-40% goes to investments. Not the best model, but can serve us.

JN: In our culture it is expected of a man to be the provider. Then how do we deal or manage a scenario where the woman is the one providing or earns more than the man?

PS: Yes our culture says so. It takes it from the way God made it to be. A man must strive to take care of his own, even if it means cutting someone’s lawn or picking plastic bottles. However sometimes it does not go according to the ideal. The Biblical narrative of wives submitting to their husbands is key here, Jonah. Ephesians 5:22-24 is clear, wives must submit to their husbands as unto Christ. That act is voluntary. If women are to submit it means they are already recognised to be of a superior order, yet for the sake of order and peace they must submit (meaning to put yourself under the mission of the husband). If women go by the Godly principles of submission we have no problem in that regard and in fact many marriages will be strong. My wife will never be my husband nor be head of the home because she gets more money!

JN: There could be sex starvation because of a man being unable to provide money! How do we deal with that?

PS: Jonah, sex is not an award because a man has been able to provide for his family. Neither is respect and honour. For a man, just like a woman, sex is a God-given need that needs to be fulfilled within the confines of Holy matrimony. One important difference between the concept of sex by males and females is that while women may need kind words, care, security and tender touches to feel for sex, men just need an image. Men are aroused just by sight. It is also critical to know that healthy and normal men between ages 23-50 think of sex 30-45 times daily.

Sometimes it’s just a moment, others it’s a strong temptation. However, some will resist and decide they will fulfil their need at home. If a man’s wife knows this, they must know what to do! The rule is, “The husband should fulfil his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control (1 Corinthians 7:3-5). There is no money mentioned there. Simple!

JN: Finally, what are you words of advice concerning money and love?

PS: Love is the ultimate, love is God, love will sustain us. Money answers all things. Both are very important but we must know which provides the basis of another. The ultimate is love: “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love” (1 Corinthians 13:13). Let us pray for our marriages, money will come. Thank you Jonah for having me. Bless you, reader!

Jonah Nyoni is an author, success coach and certified leadership/business trainer. He is the author of Inspiration for Success and Success Within Reach.

Stir the pot: Paidamoyo Muzulu

THE Zimbabwe social media — Twitter, Facebook and WhatsApp — suffered a meltdown this week as the tech-savvy individuals went into overdrive discussing the death of basketball star Bryant Kobe in a helicopter crash Sunday morning and the wedding of raunchy dancer Beverly Sibanda to a Zimbabwean man based in the diaspora.

Kobe, a star who won five NBA championships and two Olympics gold medals in United States colours, perished in a helicopter crash in California, sending the whole sporting community into a sombre mood. Dying at the young age of 41 was not the only shocking thing as he died together with his daughter, 14, a promising basketball player whose light was snuffed out in the horrific accident whose cause is not yet established.

The news was on the front pages of many if not all mainstream news services, a revelation that sport transcends political and economic differences.

More tellingly, it was a running story on all cable news networks despite the ongoing US President Donald Trump impeachment hearing in the US senate.

Kobe’s death is news, whichever way one looks at it. The death of a star who inspired many by his antics on the court, drew a pay cheque that many can dream of and not earn even if given three lifetimes. However, this event showed that Zimbabwe is really part of the global village, nay — only its elite who can afford the astronomic data costs to be on social media in a moribund economy.

Kobe’s death reminded me of last year’s social media meltdown when music superstar Oliver Mtukudzi passed on after a long illness. Zimbabweans across the political divide wanted him to be part of them.

Some enterprising women went to lengths of coining a hashtag #doekforTuku, urging women to wear headwraps as a sign of their respect for the music icon.

More noteworthy is how social media has enhanced the elite interest in paparazzi reportage, worshipping celebrities and unintentional efforts to conform to the new global (United States) ethos. Cultural scholars have long called globalisation as Americanisation of the world.

This trend has developed over the years, starting with the death of Princess Diana in August 1997, pop star Michael Jackson in June 2009, Apple founder Steve Jobs October in 2011 and former South African President Nelson Mandela in December 2013. In most eulogies that were given, true to African dictates, no evil was said against the dead.

When you are a celebrity, one’s blemishes be they accusations of rape, child molestation or adultery are whitewashed.

By and by, the world shares a common grief and seeks to remember the better side of the deceased.
We share our pain, share our excitement but hardly share our poverty or wealth. These are some of the things that globalisation has failed to globalise, but only widened the gap between the rich and the poor.

Back in Harare, many could not believe that dancer Bev could tie the knot and earn herself the coveted title Mrs.

This is a title that in our culture is reserved for the well-groomed women and not the independent women and those of free spirit inclination.

There were many memes on social media attacking the union instead of wishing the new couple well.

Tabloids did not give the newly-married time to enjoy their newfound happiness as they were already speculating about Bev having a bun in the oven.

To her great attitude or lack of it, Bev went out in the open saying she was not pregnant but suffering the side-effects of an injectable contraceptive that she is on. Did the world need to know that? Only in the celebrity world, nothing is secret.

In all the hullabaloo, Zimbabweans never bothered to discuss the latest poverty datum line statistics — that a family of five latest needs $4 100 a month to be considered not poor. Poverty means nothing when there are celebrities to be mourned, mocked or congratulated for doing an ordinary deed like getting married.

Celebrity moments give the community a necessary respite from the economic problems that each day are becoming harder to overcome. The new university fees are secondary to celebrity lifestyles, their highs and lows, despite that tertiary education is the foundation to an industrialised and enlighted community.

For now, the big thing is celebrity news.

May Kobe’s spirit rest in eternal peace as much as we wish Bev a long and blissful union.

Next time we are deep in trouble may a celebrity come out again to give us fodder to use our data pursuing the trivia than the real life that confronts us.

What a week.

Paidamoyo Muzulu is a journalist and writes here in his personal capacity.

Editorial Comment

LESS than a year after government, through advice from some aliens in outer space, decided to hurriedly resuscitate the Zimdollar which had long been buried for over a decade after being mauled dead in February 2009 by a rabid 89,7 sextillion percent hyperinflation, the economy is fast re-dollarising again. The Zimbabwe dollar’s June 2019 forced reintroduction came despite sound advice that this was a premature move given that the country had not yet achieved production levels good enough to support a local currency. At the time the Zimdollar was revived the country also hardly had any foreign currency reserves to write home about, which largely meant that the currency was doomed from day one.

Now we hear that government has ordered that businesses charging in foreign currency should pay their tax obligations in foreign currency, a clear admission that de-dollarisation has all but flopped big time. One would have thought that, because it is illegal to transact locally in foreign currency, the government would be inclined to heavily punish those businesses which are asking payment for their goods and services in foreign currency. Is this latest development not proof enough that the Zimdollar is definitely failing to hold its own? So what does it mean if all businesses decide to sell their goods and services in foreign currency and be prepared to pay their taxes in foreign currency? Shouldn’t the authorities simply swallow their pride and re-dollarise because sooner or later everyone will be asking for foreign currency for their goods and services.

But given the fact that a huge chunk of the country’s business is conducted in the opaque informal sector, it will be difficult for the tax collector to collect what belongs to them from this very grey economy. If only the authorities had chosen to listen to earlier sound advice not to rush to re-introduce the local currency, the situation could probably be very different. Moreover, if government had been sincere and serious from the word go about bringing back the local currency it should not have shilly-shallied about it.

From day one, government was never committed to de-dollarise the economy because immediately after banning the use of mainly US dollars in local transactions, it allowed certain entities such as the mines to pay for electricity in foreign currency. Government itself also collected import duties in foreign currency. All this was proof enough that the Zimdollar was heading nowhere.

And given the confused state of the economy, if it is difficult for the country to re-dollarise then the government may as well take the Rand Union route which it has been resisting for years.
Until recently, the Zimdollar has held its own against the rand at 1:1 meaning that the rand, already acceptable in the country’s southern region, can easily be adopted as a more plausible alternative.

However, knowing the authorities’ headstrong inclinations, they would rather slog on down the highway to doom than act sensibly to save the situation.

BY BLESSED MHLANGA

THE opposition MDC leader Nelson Chamisa yesterday had his planned clean-up campaign stopped by police in Chitungwiza, with the law enforcement agents advising him to instead join President Emmerson Mnangagwa’s nationwide clean-up initiative normally held in the first week of each month.

The campaign was scheduled for Unit L in Chitungwiza, but armed police barricaded the area early in the morning and ordered MDC supporters to disperse before the arrival of their leader.

A police prohibition order dated January 30 and signed by officer commanding Chitungwiza district, a Chief Superintendent S Mujiwa read: “Your letter dated 23 January is hereby acknowledged. We are of the opinion that you join others in the presidential clean-up campaign, which is carried out on the first Friday of every month.”

The letter was addressed to Chitungwiza South MP, Maxwell Mavhunga (MDC Alliance).

Chamisa blasted the police for being partisan and behaving like a “vigilante organisation”.

“This is abuse of the law. The actions by the police resemble a vigilante organisation. By law we only notify the police and not seek their permission. We are putting them on notice that we will not be deterred by their actions,” said Chamisa’s spokesperson Nkululeko Sibanda.

“The president (Chamisa) would have proceeded today to the clean-up. He just had a pressing commitment as he was in a national executive council meeting which he is still addressing at the moment,” Sibanda said.

The MDC has vowed to defy future police prohibition orders it considers as illegal.

Speaking in South Africa early this week, the youthful opposition leader raised concern that State security agents and the ruling Zanu PF party treated his party like a terrorist organisation, banning its activities and beating up its supporters.

BY PRAISEMORE SITHOLE

POLITICAL parties affiliated to President Emmerson Mnangagwa’s Political Actors Dialogue (Polad) yesterday rejected the proposed constitutional amendments, saying it was “too premature for the government to publish a Constitutional Amendment Bill.”

Constitutional law expert and Polad member Lovemore Madhuku said a special subcommittee tasked to analyse the Bill had observed that most of its provisions were unacceptable.

“We have taken a two-stage approach and we are calling on the government to withdraw the Constitutional Bill in Parliament and this is what we are going to be recommending to our plenary,” said Madhuku, who heads the opposition National Constitutional Assembly (NCA).

“We are saying it is too premature for the government to publish a Constitutional Amendment Bill. As Polad we have to discuss what are our electoral challenges, political challenges, and constitutional challenges ahead of 2023 election on the reforms that we wish to have undertaken.”

“The question is why are you rushing for the removal of the running mate when the elections are in 2023. As Polad we also really want the electoral laws amended in a number of areas to create a free and fair election,” said Madhuku.

“What we did is we went into that Bill clause by clause and some things would be acceptable while some are not acceptable. We looked if there were good ideas in the Bill and on balance we found that most of the things are not acceptable and we completely rejected the Bill.”

“Even if the government decides to go ahead with the amendment, we will fight on the provisions relating to the Judiciary, it’s a unanimous position again. Judges must retire at 70 mandatory and as a subcommittee we have said judges must retire at 70.”

Madhuku said on matters relating to gender equality in Parliament they had reached an agreement of 50/50.

“The point that must be clear is that the Polad subcommittee has not endorsed the Constitutional Amendment Bill. We are not going to accept the Constitutional Amendment Bill and that we can assure you,” he said.

BY PRECIOUS CHIDA

A LOCAL company, Treeco has launched an ambitious project to plant about one million trees, including indigenous fruit species that can survive in different climatic conditions, across the country and monitor their progress and impact through mobile technology.

The first batch of 1 000 trees, sponsored by leading tour operator Bushtracks Africa as part of their Bushtracks Footprint Programme, and provided by Treeco and Forestry Commission were distributed to communities in Victoria Falls.

The tree-planting project also marked the launch of a mobile application, Treeco App, produced by Treeco and Green Fingers Mobile, to gather and manage data from reforestation activities.

Olia Danckwerts of Treeco said in a statement the mobile application will help to monitor and enforce accountability in the reforestation sector.

“This app aims to ultimately start a revolution whereby people are empowered, no matter how big or small, to make a tangible difference that benefits both the planet and people,” she said.

Danckwerts said the initiative to plant the trees was meant to curb deforestation and habitat loss and its associated impact.

“The project brings together established players in the conservation and tourism sector including Forestry Commission, Wild is Life and Bushtracks Africa. The trees were grown at the nearby Fuller Forest Nursery by Forestry Commission and Treeco,” she said.

Treeco founder Jos Danckwerts described trees as the source of all life, providing air, food and water.

“We are in a second year of drought and it is more vital than ever that we unite at grassroots level to plant trees and protect forests, given that trees are directly linked to rain, which we all rely on for everything,” he said.

Bushtracks general manager Simon Teede said they were proud to play a leading role in environmental protection and mitigating the efforts of climate change.

BY KEVIN MAPASURE

Zimbabwe failed in their pursuit of a series levelling win in the second cricket Test match which ended in a draw at Harare Sports Club yesterday with touring Sri Lanka claiming a 1-0 win, having won the first match last week.

The hosts declared in the morning after Sean Williams had reached his half century to finish their second innings on 247 for 7 to set Sri Lanka a victory target of 361, but with ten overs remaining, the two captains agreed that a draw was inevitable and shook hands.

Zimbabwe needed to bowl out Sri Lanka in yesterday’s 98 overs, but they only managed to take three wickets with visiting batsmen proving resolute and solid, giving very little away.

Kusal Mendis scored an unconquered ton finishing on 116 with the tourists ending their innings on 204 for 3 in the second innings.

Oshada Fernando fell three runs short of his half century as he became Sikandar Raza’s only victim after he was trapped leg before.

Carl Mumba took the wicket of Dimuth Karunaratne, while Victor Nyauchi got rid of Fernando Mathews who scored 13 runs.

Raza, who took seven wickets and scored a half century in the first innings of the match, was named man of the match, while Mathews scooped the man of the series award.

Zimbabwe will reflect on day four where luck eluded them after their plans were scuppered by the rains that fell late in the afternoon, forcing a lengthy stoppage and subsequently bad light which also induced early stumps with 34 overs getting lost.

The hosts would have wanted to put a bigger score on the board and get a shot at bowling at Sri Lanka for at least an hour which on the day would have given them more time out in the field.

But even with that in mind, their bowling yesterday lacked penetration and they struggled to put the tourists under real pressure.

The first wicket (Karunaratne) fell in the 14th over while that of Fernando arrived 24 overs later with the last dropping after 60 overs. That was not enough to get Sri Lanka worried.

Donald Tiripano was at his frugal best with an economy of 0.93 after bowling 10 maidens of his 16 overs, conceding just 15 runs.

Fellow seamers Mumba and Nyauchi retained figures of 1 for 13 and 1 for 43 respectively, but the former only bowled four overs.

Spin was just as ineffective as seam with Raza finishing with 1 for 63 while Williams had 0 for 49 with Mutombodzi also finishing without a scalp conceding 19 runs in the seven overs that he was given.

While they will be disappointed with the drawn second Test, they will be pleased with some performances in the match, particularly their effort with both bat and ball in the first innings where they scored 406 all out before they bowled out Sri Lanka for 293.

They will look forward to their next challenge which is a tour to Bangladesh with optimism.
Williams was pleased with the way they played spin.

“Unfortunately, I got sick, but Brendan did a really good job there and well done to Raza. We played spin really well this series and I am looking forward to the Bangladesh series.”

Raza was disappointed with the draw, but is already looking ahead.

“I think I wanted to channel all my emotions in the right way. I just made a commitment to work hard everyday after missing out on a couple of series. I try and complement bowling with batting. When I was training for this Test, I had about 200 overs under my belt. I am certainly looking forward to the franchise cricket, we have back-to-back games,” he said.

Sri Lanka captain Dimuth Karunaratne praised Zimbabwe for their positive approach.

“I think if you take this Test, Zimbabwe competed well for the first four days. They were really positive and played really good cricket. We had to bat the whole day, I think Kusal and Oshada were really good. As a team, we have done some really good things over the last two years,” he said.

BY SINDISO DUBE

AFTER securing a point and an away goal against Malawi in a 2020 Fifa Under-20 Women’s World Cup preliminary round first leg match, coach Rosemary Mugadza is confident that her side will finish the job at home today.

The Young Mighty Warriors were seven minutes away from securing a crucial away win when the two teams met at Kamuzu Stadium in Blantyre a fortnight ago, but Malawi scored a late equaliser to leave the tie evenly balanced.

Shyline Dambamuromo scored the all-important away goal for Zimbabwe, before substitute Yamikani Mhango handed Malawi a lifeline with a 83rd minute equaliser.

Today’s match will be played at Barbourfields Stadium in Bulawayo, with the hosts looking to make full use of the away goal.

Speaking at a Press conference after the team’s morning training session yesterday, Mugadza said she was hoping that her team would carry the momentum from the previous match.

“It’s not going to be an easy game as all the countries are improving on their game, but we are hoping that our ladies will do us good service tomorrow,” Mugadza said.

“We have been in camp since we left Malawi. We have prepared well and we hope that the players will apply themselves very well and do well like they did in Malawi,” the former Mighty Warriors coach said.

“They are very good, especially in the middle of the park. Their striker, who came in the second half and managed to equalise, is also good. Their defence has lanky players, so we are planning to bypass their midfield and use our strikers very well. But we need to remain compact in the middle of the park.”

The overall winner of this contest will book a first round place against either Burundi or Ethiopia. Ethiopia lead the contest 5-0 from the first leg.

Besides qualification to the next stage, the Young Mighty Warriors are desperate to win this match to atone for the disappointment by their young sisters, the Under-17 who were clobbered 7-0 on aggregate by Botswana in a Fifa Under-17 Women’s World Cup first round qualifier last month.
The Under-17 team lost 5-0 in Gaborone and were finished off at Barbourfields last week.

However, Mugadza picked some positives from the disappointing result.

“I don’t think the Under-17s performed very bad considering that it was their first time taking part in the qualifiers and also that Botswana participated in last year’s Cosafa tournament. Our girls just grouped for two weeks facing a team which had been in camp for two months,” she said.

“It is good that we now have an Under-17 team participating in such a major competition and we ask for support so that we keep all our age group teams taking part in such competitions. These teams feed in into other teams and eventually the senior team.”