STAND-UP comedian Learnmore Mwanyenyeka — popularly known as Long John in comedy circles — said he has hit a purple patch in his career as an entertainer with performances in several African countries.

BY PRECIOUS CHIDA

This year alone, the award-winning jest master has represented Zimbabwe at big comedy fiestas including the Kigali International Festival in Rwanda, Kampala Comedy Festival in Uganda, The Churchill Show in Kenya and the Laugh Festival in Zambia.

Long John has also featured in Showmax original shows, Funny People Africa and The Last Laugh.

The comedian told NewsDay Life & Style yesterday that his decision to create his own work opportunities had given him the breakthrough.

“I don’t wait for an opportunity. I create my own opportunities because if you wait for a call, it will never come,” he said.

“The main key in my life is networking. I talk and create working relationships with other comedians and promoters from around the world and I have taken precedence in making myself a professional comedian.”

Several local comedians have found the going tough as there are very few promoters interested in comedy.

The Chimanimani-bred Long John, who broke into the South African comedy circuit, performing at prestigious events and venues such as Oppikkopi Festival, Park Acoustics, Mieliepop Festival and Jo’burg Theatre, said he would continue on that trajectory.

Long John’s breakthrough on the mainstream comedy circuit came in 2012 during his performance at Simuka Comedy Night at the Book Café in Harare. Since then, he has carved out a slot for himself on the local and African scene.

The joker said he would be launching his one-man show, The Village Boy, in August at three different places in Harare ahead of his tour of Chicago in the United Sates later this year.

HARARE football giants Dynamos have received a major boost ahead of their trip to Barbourfields for a blockbuster Castle Lager Premiership tie against old rival Highlanders on Sunday after their injured captain Edward Sadomba and three foreign imports returned to training this week.

BY TAWANDA TAFIRENYIKA

Sadomba missed last week’s 0-0 draw against Manica Diamonds due to injury, while the foreign trio of Cameroonians Vincent Mbega and Claude Ngahan Junior, nicknamed Neymar and Ghanaian Robert Sackey have also been on the sidelines for quite some time nursing injuries.

Dynamos coach Tonderai Ndiraya has even complained about the foreign players’ lack of involvement in value creation in the team as they continuously pick injuries.

Nevertheless, the foreign contingent got back to training this week as they prepare for the weekend showdown against Highlanders.

Team manager Richard Chihoro confirmed the development.

“The team captain Sadomba is back at training with the team so are the foreign players Mbega, Ngahan and Sackey.

They have been involved in training this week and it’s up to the coach to decide whether they will play. The good thing is that they are all available for selection,” Chihoro said.

With both the Harare giants and their hosts Highlanders demanding positive results after indifferent performances, which have seen both sides struggle at the lower echelons of the table, it’s sure to be a fascinating encounter.

Highlanders and Dynamos have been strikingly in similar circumstances, where the Harare giants had a sluggish start to the campaign under former coach Lloyd Chigowe before Ndiraya took over, while Highlanders have also been poor.

Both can ill-afford another defeat at this stage and certainly not in this fixture, almost guaranteeing fans a thriller.

Madinda Ndlovu’s men are entangled in the drop zone, lying in fourth position from the bottom with a paltry 11 points out of a possible 33 points. They have won just two, drawn five and lost four.

Their strikeforce has scored just five goals — the worst scoring rate in the topflight which they share with TelOne.

Highlanders are also coming from a dispiriting 1-0 defeat to Yadah FC and will be determined to bounce back.

Dynamos might have undergone a major transformation under Ndiraya and have, at times, exhibited some battling qualities which have seen them posting some good results including a memorable victory over defending champions FC Platinum, but their coach is demanding more from his charges.

PSL weekend fixtures
Saturday: Bulawayo Chiefs v FC Platinum (Luveve), Chapungu v Yadah (Mandava), Black Rhinos v ZPC Kariba (NSS), Harare City v Herentals (Rufaro).

Sunday: Caps United v TelOne (NSS), Triangle v Chicken Inn (Gibbo), Mushowani v Hwange (Rufaro), Highlanders v Dynamos (Barbourfields), Manica Diamonds v Ngezi Platinum Stars (Vengere)

When the news that the Association of Rural Teachers of Zimbabwe (Artuz) boss, Obert Masaraure had allegedly been kidnapped, brutalised and left for dead first filtered in, the government and by extension Zanu PF’s response was predictable; they would deny everything and if possible, blame the victim and true to form, that is exactly what they did.

Probably, the best response would have been for the police — not the government through Information and Publicity secretary, Ndavaningi Mangwana — to say they are investigating the issue and would seek to speak to Masaraure first to ascertain the details of the case.

Instead, they resorted to a crass knee jerk response that has become the hallmark of Zanu PF governments right from 1980.

Zanu PF’s approach to governing is simple, particularly when confronted with a difficult issue — deny, deflect and divert.

Not much thinking is involved in this; it just kicks in, like it is second nature and they move on like nothing ever happened.

It is not just about politics, but it is about every sphere of life.

For example, when rumours that a fuel price hike was in the offing in January, the Zimbabwe Energy Regulatory Authority (Zera) flatly denied that any such thing was going to happen.

However, a few hours later, President Emmerson Mnangagwa announced new fuel prices.

Did Zera apologise or explain the contradiction? No, they just went on like nothing ever happened.

The same thing happened in May, where again reports of a fuel price increase surfaced and true to form, Zera once again denied that.

You would expect that they had learnt something from the episode since they were once beaten, but not with this lot.

Neither did they apologise nor explain why there was miscommunication, instead, for them, life went on and I am sure the list of people that still trusts Zera is not a very long one.

The default mode, that is the easy thing out for this government, is to go into denial mode.

It is like they do not even have to apply their minds to it, it just comes naturally.

Denial is a second nature to this government, right from 1980 to date. They never take responsibility; they do not want to be held accountable and they will deny just about everything.

To this day, nobody wants to take responsibility for Gukurahundi. Authorities have gone from denying that it ever happened, to trying to deflect and place the blame on dissidents, thereby evoking the national security question.

Neither President Emmerson Mnangagwa nor his predecessor, Robert Mugabe, have in any way or form sought to address this issue meaningfully and have so far only offered piecemeal solutions, with their tried and tested response being to deny, deflect or divert.

The modus operandi is the same right through to the shootings of August 1 last year and January this year.
For a while, following the killings in August, the government had managed to move the debate away from the deaths to the rather inane issue of who had deployed the army on that day.

Then there was a time when former Home Affairs minister Obert Mpofu came up with an Alice in Wonderland narrative, claiming he had seen snipers on buildings and these were responsible for the August 1 2018 killings.

A former army boss, Anselem Sanyatwe then claimed that a soldier who was accused of shooting into the crowd, had, in fact, shot at a 45 degree angle.

They followed the same script in January this year, denying that the security forces had killed anyone and we were instead introduced to a new term – rogue soldiers.

When foreign television crews, who do not have the same fear as local journalists and whose first instinct is not to censor themselves when reporting, started following up on multiple rape allegations and filmed violent acts, the government responded in a manner they best know how to — deny.

All manner of theories and scenarios were postulated by ranking government officials, with all of them having one theme, no one took accountability nor responsibility.

Instead, the government went for another tried and tested method, that is to deligitimise either the accusers or the media houses that carried the stories.

Together with deligitimisation, they used diversion tactics, accusing the media houses of being part of an age old imperialist plot to unseat the government and the people who had either been allegedly assaulted or raped of being opposition activists hellbent on seeing the government’s back.

So, instead of addressing the allegations, the debate moves to either the foreign media’s lack of sincerity or questioning their interest in Zimbabwe.

Again, what was missing from this narrative is a simple apology or a promise to investigate the claims, but all these seem to be beyond the government.

Then there is the sanctions issue. I have promised not to debate it and am not about to, but allow me to touch briefly on it.

That this government is failing economically is not a secret, but instead of trying to fix their faults, they have dusted up Mugabe’s book of excuses and picked up the most convenient one, that is to blame every failure on sanctions.

When Zanu PF made all those election promises last year, they knew the sanctions were a reality, but they still promised affordable healthcare, housing, better education and more jobs.

A simple reading of this would say that Zanu PF knew they were hamstrung by the sanctions, but they would come up with innovative ways and solutions to circumvent the embargo and ensure that they deliver on their campaign promises.

Mnangagwa was even quoted as saying “we have sanctions, but if we are going to cry about sanctions throughout, then we will not grow”, showing that the government was confident it would thrive in spite of the sanctions.

Therefore, to turn around and blame sanctions today for economic failures is disingenuous; it is dishonest and is an admission of failure.. What Zimbabwe needs is an honest government that is able to accept its flaws, take responsibility for its shortcomings and is accountable to its citizens because without this, we are wasting our time and going nowhere.

 Nqaba Matshazi is AMH head of digital. He writes this in his personal capacity. Feedback nmatshazi@alphamedia.co.zw Twitter: @nqabamatshazi

A WOMAN believed to be the daughter of Zimbabwe ambassador to Belgium, Tadeous Tarirenyika Chifamba, was allegedly duped of US$2 000 after being promised a contract to supply uniforms to the Zimbabwe Prison and Correctional Service (ZPCS).

BY DESMOND CHINGARANDE

Kudzayi Chifamba, who owns Global Eye Investments, reported Chamunorwa Shumba Baye to the police after he allegedly swindled her of her $2 000, purportedly to bribe ZPCS Commissioner-General Paradzai Zimondi.

Baye (37) appeared before magistrate Barbara Mateko, charged with extortion.

Global Eye Investment is in the business of supplying goods and services to government departments and intended to supply uniforms, worksuits, prisoner’s clothes and overalls to ZPCS.

The company consulted one Michael Kutsoko who, in turn, connected them to Baye.

It is alleged sometime in October last year, Baye met Chifamba at Kutsoko’s workplace. Baye confirmed that he had the capacity to facilitate the awarding of a government tender to supply uniforms since he was purportedly well connected to Zimondi.

The State alleges Baye then demanded a facilitation fee US$5 000, which he promised to deliver to Zimondi.
Chifamba, however, failed to raise the money and as a result Baye allegedly continued to pressure her by phone so that she pays the required amount or risk losing the tender.

It is alleged later that month, Chifamba managed to raise US$2 000, which she gave to Baye in the presence of Michelle Gwatimba, Tatenda Chidzidzi and Kutsoko.

The State alleges after paying the money, Chifamba patiently awaited the greenlight to supply the uniforms to ZPCS, but to no avail.

It is alleged the offence came to light when Chifamba visited Zimondi’s office and was advised that ZPCS makes its own uniforms and did not need any suppliers in that regard.

On discovering that, Chifamba reported the matter to the police, leading to Baye’s arrest.

Director of Organs Resources Company, Korbs Korbie Mutandiro, who last year appeared in court on charges of swindling the Grain Marketing Board (GMB) of over US$1 million in a botched land deal is now embroiled in a nasty divorce with his estranged wife Lavin Chitsidzo Mutandiro.

BY CHARLES LAITON

Mutandiro instituted divorce proceedings against Lavin five year ago, accusing her of throwing him out of the matrimonial house, resulting in him losing love and affection for her.

In his declaration, Mutandiro said he moved out of the house on September 14, 2014 after Lavin locked him out and restricted him from accessing his matrimonial home, but his wife dismissed his claims, saying he voluntarily left due to his adulterous behaviour.

“While it is admitted that the marriage relationship has broken down as alleged, it is not true that defendant (Lavin) restricted plaintiff (Mutandiro) from accessing the matrimonial home by changing all locks to the house as alleged,” she said.

“The reason why the relationship has broken down is that the plaintiff engaged in an adulterous relationship with a certain woman which led to a child being born on January 19, 2011. The plaintiff went to stay with the woman as husband and wife after defendant obtained an order of adultery damages against the woman under case number HC1873/14.”

Commenting on the distribution of property, Lavin said her husband had understated the number of their immovable properties.

“While it is admitted that the parties acquired the property listed, it must be noted that the plaintiff omitted to list two other immovable properties being house number 23 Sloane Road, Highlands, Harare…(which was lost in a civil dispute) and house number 18 Hodgson Avenue, Alexander Park registered under Morning Produce (Pvt) Ltd,” she said.
But, Mutandiro indicated that he has since formalised his adulterous relationship by customarily marrying the woman who led to the break-up of his family, adding he cannot move out of their Alexander Home because the property was his home.The matter is set to be heard by High Court judge Justice Ester Muremba on Thursday.

RAINBOW Tourism Group (RTG) says its revenue grew by 131% to US$25,6 million in the first five months of 2019 from US$11,1 million over the same period last year, spurred by an increase in foreign currency business across all the company’s hotels.

BY MISHMA CHAKANYUKA

In a trading update at the company’s annual general meeting, RTG chief executive Tendai Madzivanyika said foreign currency revenues grew by 15% from US$3,7 million in 2018 to US$4,2 million in the period under review.

“Occupancies for the period under review declined to 46% compared to 55% recorded over the same period in 2018. The closure of Bulawayo Rainbow Hotel for two-and-a-half months due to refurbishments weighed down the company’s occupancies during this time. On a like-for-like basis, which takes account of the closure for two-and-a-half months of the Bulawayo Rainbow Hotel, the occupancy for the period closed at 54%,” said Madzivanyika.

The company invested US$1,8 million in the Bulawayo Rainbow Hotel refurbishment during the period under review.
The hotelier aims to finish the refurbishment of the remaining 54 guest rooms at Kadoma Hotel & Conference Centre by December 31 last year. It is also is focusing on improving its flagship Rainbow Towers Hotel and Conference Centre, targeting to complete 180 guest rooms by 2020.

Madzivanyika said New Ambassador Hotel would temporarily close for two months in December to make way for further refurbishments.

“The operating environment remains under stress due to continued foreign currency shortages, rising inflation, fuel shortages and erratic electricity supply. However, we remain optimistic that the business will continue to perform well, driven by the company’s foreign currency earning capacity,” he said.

BY NQOBANI NDLOVU

ZIMBABWE is now ranked as one of the worst countries in terms of the protection and promotion of the rights of indigenous, ethnic, tribal, linguistic and religious minorities, according to the Minority Rights Group (MRG) International People Under Threat World report.

The People Under Threat (PUT) is the MRG annual international barometer of countries’ performance in promoting and protecting the rights of indigenous, ethnic, tribal, linguistic and religious minorities.

According to the report, Zimbabwe is now ranked number 24 from the 25 recorded in 2018 in world rankings where minority groups such as the white Zimbabweans
and Ndebeles face rights violations.

Currently, the worst performing country is Syria, followed by Somalia , South Sudan , Afghanistan, Iraq , the DRC , Sudan, Yemen , Pakistan, Central African

Republic, Libya, Ethiopia, Nigeria and Myanmar, in that order.

The PUT measures 10 indicators, which are; self-determination conflicts, major armed conflicts, prior genocide/politicise conflicts, flight of refugees and
internally displaced people, legacy of vengeance – group grievance, rise of factional elites, voice and accountability, political stability, rule of law and
the organisation for economic co-operation and development country risk classification.

In the 2019 rankings, Zimbabwe dropped points in terms of factionalised elites, voice and accountability, political stability and rule of law.

In an analysis of the report, the Matabeleland Institute for Human Rights (MIHR) called on authorities to promote tolerance in the country.

“The MIHR calls on the government of Zimbabwe to respect the rights of indigenous, ethnic, tribal, linguistic and religious minorities and specifically to
promote accountability, rule of law and political tolerance in the country,” MIHR said.

“Principally, the government of Zimbabwe should thrive for the implementation of the provisions of the Declaration on the Rights of Persons Belonging to
National or Ethnic, Religious and Linguistic Minorities and the United Nations Declaration on the Rights of Indigenous Peoples.”

According to data analysis by MRG, abuse of social media is adding directly to the threats faced by some of the world’s most vulnerable populations. “Social
media platforms now occupy a central role in stigmatising target groups, legitimising violence…Deliberate misinformation, including false allegations and
dehumanisation of targeted groups, has been an enduring feature of conflict over the ages,” the report read in part.

BY VANESSA GONYE

SCHOOLS in Chivi are reeling under the effects of the Tugwi-Mukosi Dam expansion, which saw at least 1 500 families being relocated to pave way for the project.

A number of schools are grappling with an influx of students, resulting from displacements, with some having to enrol as many as 1 500 pupils.

Madzivire Primary School head Martin Gwengo said his school was affected by the relocation of families as it registered more than 1 500 students from the normal 450 at the height of the project, putting pressure on the institution’s facilities.

“We have a problem with infrastructure as we are unable to cater for all the 1 500 students. In some classes, we have had to use tree shades as classrooms.
However, the local MP, Killer Zivhu, has donated some material to construct a classroom block as well as a computer block to avert the crisis,” he said.

Gwengo said despite the assistance, a lot still needed to be done to enable the school to offer quality education and match the requirements of the new curriculum.

“The school, with the assistance of our MP and the community, has managed to construct and electrify a computer laboratory. We do not have computers at the moment although plans are underway to engage some donors so that it becomes easier to manage our lot,” he said.

Several schools in the area are also said to be facing similar problems, with their enrolments way above the schools’ means.

Tawanda Ndlovu, the headmaster at Mutoti Primary School, said some displaced villagers had registered their children at the few available schools in Chivi, with his school currently unable to match the sudden influx of pupils.

“We have 18 teachers and around 867 pupils, and the expansion of infrastructure has begun, with the construction of two classroom blocks currently underway.

The school does not have electricity, therefore, teaching information communication technology skills is a challenge,” he said.

Zivhu said he considered the issue of schools’ overpopulation as very urgent, thus the his preoccupation with the assistance..

“The plight of the schools is very serious. The enrolments are overwhelming and we have started the construction of classroom blocks so as to avert the crisis.

So far, 44 classroom blocks have been constructed around the constituency out of an annual target of 58 and an overall of 120 blocks during my tenure,” he said.

Tugwi-Mukosi is the largest inland dam in Zimbabwe, with a 90-metre dam wall and a back throw of over 35 kilometres. When full to capacity, the dam can hold more than 1,8 billion cubic litres of water.