We are all not going to get married at the same time. For some people getting married is going to happen so easy and very early but for some it will happen very late.
So no-one should give up on marriage or try to compare with anyone because the processes are always unique for everyone.
Recently, I got a call from someone I didn’t even know. She was very excited to share her story so we arranged for a meeting. After driving all the way just to share her story, she asked, “how old do you think I am?”
She looked like someone who was in her early 40s and she told me that she was actually 41. “Brian, I want you to share my story with the world. I want everyone to know about my story, especially those that have lost hope, that no longer believe that they will ever get married.”
She lived a life of peer pressure, with everyone expecting her to get married but it never happened. Eventually she got married at 41 and had her first-born at 41!
She narrated her journey from age 24, when she desperately wanted to get married, until 41, when everyone thought it wasn’t going to happen.
She did everything that could be done in order to get married but nothing materialised. She consulted different sangomas and apostolic prophets but her story never changed. All the sea waters and all the oils, a miracle never came.
Then she resigned to, “if you are struggling to get married it means you have a spiritual husband” and she started believing that she must have been bewitched. As she moved from place to place looking for deliverance, she lost a substantial amount of money.
She narrated how society ridiculed her, calling her evil names just because she was single. Some people were saying that she sacrificed her marriage in order to be rich, for she was reasonably well-off.
All this mockery made her cry so many times, which became pronounced whenever she saw a married couple, walking arm-in-arm. When she turned 35, she lost hope about ever getting married and she stopped her expectations though she never stopped going to church and praying.
Her prayers were answered when she turned 40, when she met her husband. The guy was no ordinary man as he was someone who was as successful as she was who loved her so much.
Though he had pressed to marry her within months of them falling in love, she actually delayed him for she could not believe what was happening to her.
She succeeded in delaying him for some extra months, as she eventually realised that the man actually loved her for who she was.
“It might take long but God’s time always come,” were her concluding words. “God sometimes act like He is not there but as you keep praying, as you keep seeking Him, He is faithful, He will never leave you, nor forsake you. He will always answer.”
Though it might be difficult for some to conceive at that age, especially for the first time, for her she gave birth to a normal baby.
So many people have lost hope because they will be comparing themselves with other people. We have some people who don’t struggle to get married, things just happen for them easily, they get to choose who to marry. Maybe God didn’t create your path to be this easy. Maybe he didn’t write your story to be this easy. You know getting a lover is a miracle whilst other people change lovers like underwear.
Understand this, our paths are different. For this woman her marriage was destined to happen at 41. Maybe yours is destined to happen even way after 40. Keep believing, keep praying don’t lose hope. One of these days it will happen for you.
Dress well, keep bathing, keep going out and mixing with different people.
Brian Matsaira is a love and relationships coach and can be contacted on [email protected]