Love, just like life, can be uncertain

As people fall in love they must also know that bad things are going to happen, famine days are going to come, life-threatening situations will arise.

That death is going to take one lover first and will leave the other with all the responsibilities. People need to prepare for these things because they shouldn’t come as a surprise. Good and bad things are part of life.

You don’t know whether you are going to have children or not. Some people are not going to have children even though we all want to have children.

Some people are going to give birth to children that have medical conditions or children that have certain disabilities, children that cannot talk, that cannot see, that cannot walk or children that have rare conditions.

Some people are going to give birth to children that will die soon after birth or after a few years. As humans we need to accept all these things without blaming anyone.

We have no power over what we are going to give birth to, for it is written in Exodus 4 v 11: “Who hath made man’s mouth? Or who maketh the dumb, or deaf, or the seeing, or the blind? Have not I the Lord?”

We all want to give birth to normal and beautiful children but if it doesn’t happen that way we must accept what is given unto us. The person who decides what we give birth to is not us. We are just receivers and custodians.

If you are going to be barren also understand that you have no power over your womb. There is someone who decides whether you should be barren or not and that person is God. Be happy with yourself.

Children come from God, if he hasn’t given you yet pray that He brings them and if He decides not to bring them at all, accept your fate with gladness. Sometimes in life we don’t get everything we want. Consider adopting children or other available science options.

If you gave birth or you are going to give birth  take it as a blessing not that there is something special about you. So as couples, no-one should blame anyone for giving birth to certain children that have certain disabilities because as humans we have no power to choose what we bring on earth as far as children are concerned.

It is our duty to accept what we have been given and if we are not given we should also accept our fate. If you have only girls and all you want is a baby boy but he isn’t coming, be grateful and thank God for what he has given you.

Many people are struggling to conceive in the first place yet you are being choosy. Accept what has been given unto you for that is your lot.

We don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow. Maybe you are going to marry someone who is going to die a day after getting married or maybe the death will happen next year or before five years into your marriage.

As painful as death is, we have no power over it and we don’t know when it shall come. If you have lost your lover early or if you are going to lose your lover early understand this, this is part of life. We are all born to die.

We just don’t know when. If God has given you the blessing to grow old so that you can see the children of your children with your spouse being alive know this too, this is a blessing.

Maybe your lover is going to have an incurable disease like cancer or you are the one who is going to have it. Maybe one of you is going to be crippled because of an accident or a certain condition that eats body parts. These things happen to us as humans. We must have the fortitude to accept them and the patience to endure these sufferings that God brings to us sometimes.

Some couples are going to marry each other as rich people but disaster is going to come and they are going to find themselves selling everything. They are going to be forced to change their lifestyles.

Some are going to be fired from their well-paying jobs and they are not going to ever get a well paying job again. There are challenges that comes with adjusting to reality. From driving a top-of-the-range to struggling to pay bus fare.

From staying in the upmarket suburbs to renting in the high-density areas. This tragedy can happen to any one. When it happens to you know the wisdom from Ecclesiastes: “When things are going well for you (prosperity), be glad and when trouble comes (poverty) just remember, God sends both happiness and trouble; you never know what is going to happen next”. This is from Ecclesiastes 7 v 14.

Live for the moment. Take each day as it comes. Never blame yourself for your bad decisions that puts you where you are right now but spend your time creating new solutions. Sometimes we are enjoying life to the extent that we forget bad things also happen. We have to prepare for them too. Bad days and misfortunes should never take our happiness.

Life also has bad experiences that we don’t want to talk about but we must also embrace bad seasons as they come the way we embrace good seasons. Good and bad are twins that we can’t separate. We should be prepared for either of them.

Brian Matsaira is a love and relationships coach and can be contacted on [email protected]

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