The Chronicle

Yoliswa Dube-Moyo

ABOUT two years ago, Olinda Chapel broke up with her rapper husband Desmond “Stunner” Chideme in dramatic fashion.

She went on a Facebook rant to share her pain with the world. Stunner had allegedly been cheating on her with a younger woman, while according to Olinda, she had been breaking her back at her base in the United Kingdom trying to ensure her rapper husband lived comfortably back home.

There is nothing she didn’t do for Desy, as she repeatedly referred to him during her Facebook videos.

According to Olinda, she bought Stunner luxury vehicles, designer clothes and sponsored the rapper’s lavish lifestyle only for him to bite the hand that was feeding him.

A few months after the break up, the “suicidal” Olinda (35) had picked up the pieces and moved on with afro-pop artiste Tytan (28) of the Mukoko fame. The relationship with the young artiste seemed to be going well. 

They were all over social media flaunting their love. The flames were raging hot to a point where Tytan released the track Bho off the album Tytan EP, which he said was dedicated to Olinda. 

He even inked her name on his arm saying their love was indestructible and a tattoo was his way of showing how much he loved her. They got married and have a daughter, Nandi. 

Two years on, Olinda was back on Facebook (as we predicted) sobbing over Tytan who had apparently cheated on her. Days later, the afro-pop artiste released a statement saying the marriage had broken down. He hinted on domestic abuse issues adding that he was “receiving support from a strong legal team and domestic abuse services”.

After her drama with Stunner, one would have thought Olinda would have gone for a different grain of man. One who would be showering her with lavish gifts and not the other way round as was with Stunner and Tytan. It was difficult to expect a different outcome from the relationship when Olinda, from an onlooker’s point of view, was making the exact same mistake, a mistake many women make.

She has served to prove that money can’t buy love and happiness after all. It is nice to spend at the beginning, but it doesn’t guarantee that the relationship will stand the test of time. 

A relationship based on money and other fictitious things will only last as long as a flame made out of paper. Look at South African entertainer Zodwa Wabantu (33) and her Ben 10 Ntobeko Linda (23). She had even paid R70 000 in lobola for him. Everything seemed hunky dory until she announced their breakup under unclear circumstances.

South African celebrity Somizi Mhlongo (46) and his fiancé Mohale Motaung (23) are planning their grand wedding but it won’t be shocking to hear that they have called time on the relationship in the not so distant future. Considering Mohale is Bahumi’s (Somizi’s daughter) age it is difficult to believe the relationship will last. One would be forgiven to think Mohale is in it for the rands but would be well on his way when he’s snugly in Somizi’s bank accounts.

Meanwhile, the most curious question is, “What gets women into courtship with partners younger than them?” Is age REALLY nothing but a number? So much goes into making a relationship let alone a marriage work; we can’t ignore age as a factor that contributes to the dynamics of any romantic relationship.

Although on the flip side, society has normalised relationships where the man is older than the woman, it is worrying how women are not only scorned for dating, let alone marrying younger men, but also disappointed by this young blood. Similarly to men, research shows that women will date younger men to boost their ego and build their self-esteem. Age hits everyone and women are known for not taking it well. It could be a midlife crisis of sorts but to have a younger man want to be with you at your twilight is a huge compliment.

Sometimes, an older woman is looking for spontaneity and a break from routine. A younger man could be exactly what they are looking for BUT shouldn’t such relationships just be kept casual?